I. Consider the meetings you took part in during the last week. Being really !rnnest, how prc:tluctive Wett they on a ~calt of 1 to 10. \.\'hat would a meettng wrth J
score of 3 better have been like)
2 \.\'hat can you de in preparat1c.,.n of the next meeti:1g you .1re lr:.eolwd, tn to IrJJke it work beteedCome o:i, get up and be the soucce of ch,mge1
Consider th !,ehaviot:rs in the :mr:etings y,,u arr part of. How O(l ycu personally behave; Com_F<tre yo;,r c.:intributhm to othen. pre.._<.ent \Vnat ca:o:i you do di£forently and how will you get this s>mbedd1:d deeply
4. lr. your next me<:cing, obsen-e careblly where things ;tan to go wnng if they do
\\'htre does the respons1b1lity fo: the meeting lie on this cccasicn?
5. \Vho gtts involved in your met:.ings and who doesn t? Be real!y focused ;;.bou~
tht value ea,:-h gees frorn being there. Be prepared ro exclude ochers and be careful and generov> with owe you let people down.
6 What out(X)JT!e would be the best possible £rum tht rn«lings y.;u go to, to rea!IJ make a d.Jfforenc-t/ \Vhat need for movement and p:,::gress ls ever,,cn;: 21.w are of' 7. WoulJ you bcnefic from more or less meetings next week? Consider what you
rnu!d do with the extra dtD£. How de ycu bafanced the added extra tir.-_e with the loss oi meeting value.
8 Ensure that evef}'i)he is dear of what i·l expected of tnem ;mci by when, as they leave ths:: rr.<'eting Ge':. minutes nut as soon as you ::m to er.su:t everyone ls rea:fy dear.
9. How do you park irn.ws ~lutrnme u;, that are nc: relevan~ to the rm:eting? \V:lat 15 the proce!!.$ for a;:knowledging the teJ.l iss::es people face buL ;.r s:c~ other ti:ne please
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ll
Article of the Week, 2009- Communication Skills
IO Review each meeting you go to and look deeply at what went well, and what might have gone better - what can you change yourself to make things run more effectively?
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Article of Ike U'eek, 2()09 CommunicatUm Skills
9) DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AT WORK
D
unfortunatelv ex.ist ifficult people at work do as in every other ¼alk of hfe.It ts rare to find a workplace without them. Depending on your level of selfMestoom, dealing with a difficult person at work can be debilitating and stressful. Dealtng with a 'difl1cult' person is easier when the person ls or undcnmning your professional contributmn and dealing with them is dependant on your self confidence and your professional courage.
DIFFICULT PEOPLE COME IN VARIOUS GUISES Some talk constantly and rarely, Jf
ever, listen. Others must always have the last word. Some co-workers fail to keep commitments which impacts upon others and can cause friction.
Others may criticize anything that they did not create, Difficult co-workers compete v.ith you for power and privilege; some go too far in encouraging and creating: a positive opinion for the boss to your
dimmishment. Difficult people and situations exist in all work places, in many different guises, they do however, all have one thing in t,"Ommon, in that they or the situation must be addressed. Regardless of the type of difficult situation in '"'"hicb you find yourself: dealing with
<liffirult people or situations is a mu~t
DEALING WITH THE DIFFICULT CO-WORKER l 've experienced workplaces in which
aII sorts of dysfunctional approaches to dealing with a difficult co-worl,;er productive option e-ither. Confronting the bully publicly can often lead to
disaster. Putting dead bugs in his desk drawer can leave your boss no option other than to fire you_ So, let's look at more productive ways to address your difficult co-worker. Are you convinced that io atmost all cases you need to productively deal with your difficult co-worker?
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Article of the U.'eek, 2009-: Communication Skills
Here are Sways of dealin2 with that difficult person at work:
1. Always begin by examining yourself in determining whether the object of your attention, i.e. die difficult person or situation, really is the result of their aetion, experienced difficulty with the same type of person or situation? ls there a
pattern i11 your history inlctacifon with co-workers. Le. do you generally get on well v.ilh all" Do you recognize tbat you have 'hot buttons' that are easily pushed, thus causing reaction?
2. Discuss your situation with a trusted friend or ideally, a colleague.
Com11der various ways of addressing_
the situation (or person)_ \\'hen you are the ohJcct of an attack, or your boss appears to support rhe dysfim.;tional actions of a co~worker, it is often difficult to objectively assess your options Anger, pain, humiliation, fear and concern about makmg the ;ituation worse are legitimate emotions
Pay attention to the unspoken agreement you create when you solicit another's assistance. You are committing to act unless you .igree experiencing in "l" messages. (Using
·'[" messages is a communication approach that focuses on your experience of the situation rather than on attacking 1)r accusing the other person.) You can also explain to your co~worker the impact of their actions on you. Be pleasant and agreeable- as some difficult people just don't care.
During the discussion, attempt to reach agreement about positive and supportive actions going forward.
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Article of the Week, 2ffl Communication Skills
4. Follow up after the initial discussion. Has the behavior changed? Gotten better? Or worse?
Detem1ine whether a follow-up discussion is needed. Detennine whether a follow-up discussion will have any impact. Decide if you want to continue to confront the difficult person by yourself Become a peaeemaker. (Decide how badly you want to make peace with the other
person and how much you want your current job. Determine whether you have experienced a pattern of support from your boss.) If you answer,
"'yes,'' to these questions, hold another discussion. If not. escalate and move to the next idea.
S, You can confront your difficult co-1torker's behaviour publicly.
Deal with the person with gentle confrontation does work well for humour or slight sarcasm. Or, make some people in some situations, I an exaggerated physical gesture~ no, don't think it works to ask the persnn not that one ~ such as a salute or to stop doing what they're doing, pla<:e your hand over your heart to publicly, but you can employ more indicate a serious wounding. Yoo can positive confrontational tactics. Their also tell the difficult person that success for you will depend on your you'd like them to consider important ability to pull them of[ Each of us is history in their decision making or nol spur-of~the-moment funny, but if similar words expressed positively, you arc, you can use the humor wen depending on the subject Direct with difficult co*workers.
To deal with tke problem thinkfust whJ,' people act the w,zy they do:
l They may be frustrated in many ways for reasons nm connected with you. What you hear is the cxpresston of that frustration, They may be nice people underneath.
2. They may be anxious Even using the telephone causes some people anxiety.
3. Do not take what people say to you as a personal insult Tbey are not attacking you but may have becorne vet} frustrated with a situation they cannot control and as a result the quality of their nonnal communication takes a severe dip. Do not allow yourself to take offence - difficult as that often ls.
4. Do not lose your temper. If both you and your customer end up ln a shouting match (or worse) )"OU are Wllikely to solve anything and after aU that is your objective.
5 Keep your attention on the fuel& relating to your meeting Try to minimue emotional reactions.
6. Think before you speak Create time for yourself before you answer via a deep breath, a thoughtful expr~sion, etc.
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Article of the Week, 2009 - Communication Skills
HOW TO DEAL WITH COMPLAINTS
Complaints tend to fall into two groups - the justified and the unjustified.
Remember, until you know the facts you will not know which one you are dealing with.