resolution, how effectively we listen is at least as important as how effectively we express ourselves. It's vital to understand the other person's perspective, rather than just our own, if we are to come to a resolution. In fact, just helping the other person feel heard and understood can sometimes go a long way toward the resolution of a conflict. Good listening also helps for you to be able to bridge the gap between the two of you, understand where the disconnect lies, etc. Unfortunately, active listening is Practice Assertive Communication Communicating your feelings and needs clearly is also an important aggressive or putting the other person on the defensive. One effective Seek a Solution
Once you understand the other person's perspective, and they understand yours, it's time to find a resolution to the conflict -- a solution you both can live with. Sometimes a simple and obvious answer comes up once both parties understand the other person's perspective. In cases where the conflict was based on a misunderstanding or a lack of insight to the other's point of view, a simple apology can work wonders, and an
a skill that not everybody knows, and it's common for people to think they're listening, while in their heads they're actually formulating their next response, thinking to themselves how wrong the other person is, or doing things other than trying to understand the other person's perspective. It's also common to be so defensive and entrenched in your O'Wn perspective that you literally can't hear the other person's point of view. (If this any of this sounds familiar, you may want to read this helpful article on listening skills.)
conflict resolution strategy is to put things in terms of how you feel rather than what you think the other person is doing wrong, using 'l feel' statements. (See this assertiveness training article for more on this, or closer together. Other times, there is a little more work required. In cases where there's a conflict about an issue and both people don't agree, you have a few options: Sometimes you can agree to disagree, other times you can find a compromise or middle ground, and in other cases the person who feels more strongly about an issue may get their way, with the understanding that they will concede ''"'''''''' 167 Fore more information on these articles and other Staff Development issues,
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ArtJ!le
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the Week, 1_1JfJ9 - Professional Ethics and lnlegrilythe next time. The important thing is to come to a place of understanding, and try to work things out in a way
Know When It's Not Working
Because of lhe toll that ongoing conflict can exact from a person, sometimes Jt' s advisable to put some distance in the relationship, or cut ties completely. In cases of abuse, for example, simple conflict resolution techniques can only take you so ii.Ir, and personal safety needs to take priority. When dealing with difficult family members, on the other hand.that's respectful to all involved. ffor more information, see this article on communication skins.)
adding a few boundaries and accepiing the other person's limitations in the relationship can bring some peace. In friendships tba1 are ummpportive or characterized by ongoing conflict, letting go may be a great source of stress relief Only you can decide if a relationship can be improved, or should he let go.
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Article of the Week, 2009 - Professional Ethics and Integrity
43) Bullying in the Workplace
E
mployers are beginning to take steps to make bullying as unthinkable as sexual harassment or drunkenness in the workplace.Schoolyard bullying - the torment of one child by another - is often compared to workplace bullying.
Both types represent a grab for
Psychological Violence
A 1999 International Labour Organization (!LO) report on workplace violence emphasized that physical and emotional violence is one of the most serious problems facing the workplace in the new millennium. The !LO definition of workplace violence includes bullying:"any incident in which a person is abused, threatened or assaulted in circumstances relating to their work..
These behaviors would originate from customers, co-workers at any level of the orgamzat1on This definition would include all forms or harassment, bullying, intimidation, physical threats/assaults, robbery and other intrusive behaviors,"
CUPE's National Health and Safety Survey of Aggression Against Staff, published in January, 1994, mentions verbal aggression and harassment in its definition of violence:
control by an insecure, inadequate person, an exercise of power through the humiliation of the target School bullies, if reinforced by cheering classmates, fearful teachers or ignoring administrators. grow up to be dominating adults. When they join the work force, they continue to bully others.
''Any incident in which an employee is abused, threatened or assaulted during the course of his/her employment. This includes the application of force, threats with or without weapons, severe verbal abuse and persistent sexual and racial harassment. "
Bullying (general harassment) is far more prevalent than other destructive behaviors covered by legislation, such as sexual harassment and racial discrimination.
A Canadian survey on workplace violence found that physical violence is often reported from outside sources, such as customers, students and patients. Psychological violence is more often reported from within the organization. A U. S study estimates l in 5 American workers has experienced destructive bullying in the past year.
, _ _ _ _ _ _ 1~9 Fore more information on these articles and other Staff Development issues,
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Anide of the Week,.1009-Professit.m/U Ethics 11.nd Integrity victim of workpface harassment Among the recommendations of a coroner's inquest was that the definition of workplace violence should include not only physical violen<;:e but also psychological violence such as bullying, mobbing,
Adult bullies., like their ~choolyard counterparts, tend to be insecure people with poor or non~existent social skills and little empathy. They turn this insecurity outward!., finding satisfaction in their ability to attack and diminish the capable people around them
A workplace bully subjects the target to unjustified criticism and trivial fault-finding. lTI addition, he or she humiliates the target, especially in front of others, and ignores,
words that could psychologically hurt or isolate a pers.on in the workplace.
No jurisdiction in Canada requires employers to have a workplace-violence prcv::,nion program. For that reason, the OC Transpo jury recommended that federal and provincial governments enact legislation to prevent workplace violence and that employers develop policies to address violence and harassment
the target chosen by an adult bully will very often be a capable, dedicated staff member, well liked hy co-workers, Bullies are most likely to pick on people with an ability to cooperate and a non-confrontative interpersonal style. The bully considers t~ir capability a threat, and detennines to cut them down.
overrules, is-olates and excludes the target.
lf the bully is the target's superior, he or she may: set the target up for failure by setting unrealistic goals or deadlines, ot denying necessary information and resources: either overload the target with'
work
or take all work away (sometimes replacing proper work with demeaning jobs); or increase responsibility while removing authority._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ rm
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