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Canadian OnCOlOgy nursing JOurnal • VOlume 25, issue 2, spring 2015 reVue Canadienne de sOins infirmiers en OnCOlOgie
FEA TUR ES /R U bR iq UE S
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My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks
Authors: May Silver and Marc Silver Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire, Naperville, Illinois
Year: 2013
Reviewed by Janice Chobanuk
T
he book entitled My Parent Has Cancer and It Really Sucks is an excellent resource for teenagers who are coping with a parent diagnosed with cancer. The authors provide a plethora of stories written by teenagers and strate- gies to assist them to cope with the reali- ties of having a parent living with cancer.The book provides an assortment of emotionally charged quotes from teen- agers grappling with the changes in their life once a parent is diagnosed.
The book is composed of 14 chapters and 261 pages (including appendices).
The major topics covered in this book are cancer 101, communicating with the family, how life changes during cancer, parentification, dealing with stress, risk- ing behaviours, benefits of friends and other supports, dealing with school, fac- ing a dire diagnosis, loss, and the new normal life post cancer. The book pro- vides suggested responses to awkward situations that a teenager may encoun- ter. For example, a 16-year-old talks about kids asking her about her mom being bald. Following the quote, there is a suggestion on how to act and respond to these types of questions and sensitive situations.
The authors use clear language with a variety of fonts to make the book fun to read. Some of the short stories from teenagers and their cancer experiences are funny, and others are sad. For exam- ple, one adolescent talked about being in the hospital with his father. When his dad went to sit up, half his eyebrow flew off. He talked about having to laugh at these types of situations in order to pre- vent you from crying. In another sec- tion, a young girl talks about preparing for a birthday party for her mother diag- nosed eight months ago. She was with her friends making red paper links for the birthday guests to sign when her
mother went into multisystem failure.
The party was cancelled and Rachel was asked to stand by her mother and talk to her during her last moments. She talks about how difficult it is to prepare for the final words or conversation before a parent dies.
Each chapter offers words of wis- dom for teenagers, tips to keep in mind, and survival strategies that align with the array of funny, and often- sad quotes from adolescents dealing with the numerous stresses associated with the cancer journey. In the chapter called Dealing with Stress, a teenager talks about how hard he cried when he heard the words come from his moth- er’s mouth that she had breast cancer.
He talked about feeling helpless and wanting to quit college. Fortunately, he found soccer to be his saving grace. He felt he could leave the baggage outside of the soccer field and enjoy the game.
Now, as a professional soccer player, he helps other kids going through similar cancer-related experiences.
The authors articulate how the can- cer experience is different for each teen- ager, the added responsibilities, and feelings of having the childhood expe- rience taken away, numerous positive coping strategies, inspiring pieces, and tactics for dealing with life after can- cer. I would recommend this book to teenagers, parents, and staff working in oncology centres. The book lacks a clinical perspective; however, it truly captures the experiences unique to a teenager dealing with a parent diag- nosed with cancer. In fact, a teenager recommended this book to me as valu- able resource for other teenagers.
About tHe reVieWer
Janice Chobanuk, BScN, MN, CHPCN(C), CON(C)
Director Ambulatory Care and Systemic Therapy, Community Oncology Alberta Health Services, CancerControl Alberta
Edmonton, Alberta
