Changes in the Dimensions of Conjugal Quality

Relationship satisfaction is one dimension which has often been considered in order to measure the quality of relationships. Studies found that relationship satisfaction decreases over time and is lower for women than for men. Moreover, thoughts of separation give some indication about the quality of relationships which have already been shown in studies by Johnson et al., (1992) and Amato et al., (2003); hence, separation proneness serves as a second dimension for relationship quality. Referring to the research studies which examine relationship quality in a longitudinal perspective, a decline in such quality is expected. This will be measured by the evaluation of relationship satisfaction and thoughts of separation in Waves 1 and 3.

H2.1: Relationship satisfaction will decrease and thoughts of separation will increase over time for men and for women.

As both indicators are subjective evaluations, they can differ among men and women in the same couple. They therefore will be examined for men and women separately and the following hypothesis will be tested:

H2.2: Relationship satisfaction will be lower and thoughts of separation higher for women than for men.

The gravity of arguments was found to be more important than the frequency of disagreements in relationships (Weiss & Wagner, 2008), which is why this dimension will be included as a dimension of relationship quality. The Selection Attrition Theory states that conflicting couples separate over time and consequently, there will be fewer disputes among couples who stay together. The descriptive analyses of the separated couples confirm that couples who split up between Waves 1 and 3 had more arguments than couples who stayed together. Taking these factors into account, the following hypothesis is posited:

H2.3: Arguments will become less severe over time.

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In this thesis conflicts will be considered as dimensions of conjugal quality and not as an exploratory variable of it. The results from former research studies show that conflicts and relationship outcomes are correlated with each other (Wagner & Weiss, 2005). Furthermore, measurement tools like the DAS (Spanier, 1976) comprise conflicts as dimensions of relationship quality. In several studies, conflicts are considered to be a dimension of relationship quality and not a predictor of it (Amato & Hohmann-Marritott, 2007; Claxton & Perry-Jenkins, 2008; Davey & Szinovacz, 2004; Shafer, Jensen, & Larson, 2014). Kluwer and Johnson (2007) found evidence that conflicts can predict relationship quality, but relationship quality can also predict conflict frequency. Hence, there is no clear direction in regard to how conflicts and relationship quality are interrelated (Kluwer & Johnson, 2007). Therefore, a consideration of conflicts as dimensions of conjugal quality is useful, as they are correlated in any case. Studies found that conflicts between partners became less frequent over time (Russel Hatch & Bulcroft, 2004; Van der Lippe et al., 2014). The Selective Attrition Theory stresses that couples with more conflicts are at a higher risk of dissolution and therefore they are not part of the sample of stable couples. The results of the first and second wave of the study also showed that separation in Wave 2 was linked to the occurrence of conflicts in Wave 1. Therefore, who had many conflicts dropped out of the sample, due to separation or over time, or they learned to manage certain conflictual situations so that they did not end in a conflict for the couple. Taken these points into account, it is hypothesised that:

H2.4: Conflicts will become less frequent among the couples of the sample.

Several dimensions of relationship quality (satisfaction, frequency of conflicts) have been found to be linked to the family life cycle. The model of the family life cycle in this thesis is orientated to the presence and absence of children and because of the availability of two points of measurement, it is possible to examine in what life stage couples changed. A decrease of relationship quality was often found for couples in early life stages (with very young and young children in the household) and an increase for couples in life stages without children in the household (Rollins & Feldman, 1970; VanLaningham et al., 2001). This leads to the following hypotheses:

46 Chapter 2 Relationship Quality

H2.5: In a longitudinal perspective it is expected that couples that changed from the pre-child stage to the (pre)school stage experience a decline of relationship quality.

H2.6: By contrast, couples that experienced the transition to the empty nest stage are expected to show an increasing relationship quality.

Before testing the hypotheses posited so far, the single dimensions for relationship quality will be examined in detail and the focus will be placed in particular on the development of those dimensions over time. In order to show those developments, parallel coordinate plots are used (Bürgin & Ritschard, 2014). Parallel coordinate plots have several functions. The graphs show whether there exist parallel events and which patterns of different event transitions exist.

Furthermore, the complexity and diversity of event patterns are illustrated by means of parallel plots and the comparison of different groups is possible. The parallel coordinate plot shows sequences of different events over time, where each line in the graph plots the trajectory of a certain transition pattern by connecting several events. Due to variation in the width of the line, it is shown how important this pattern is in comparison to the other patterns (ibid). The method was mainly developed to plot sequences of a length larger than two. Here it is used to show changes in single dimensions between Waves 1 and 3. The plots show very well whether changes in the single dimensions occurred. They are more illustrative than a simple contingency table.

A typology of relationship quality, considering all dimensions, will be presented.

Relationship satisfaction as one dimension to determine relationship quality is often used in the research literature. To be satisfied with the relationship can have different meanings for each individual. Usually, one or both partners of a couple are asked to evaluate the global satisfaction with their relationship. In order to interpret the satisfaction with the relationship, longitudinal measurements deliver more information, as changes can be examined. Furthermore, it is also useful to have information from both partners of the couple. Since the evaluation of relationship satisfaction is a subjective measurement there can be differences between men and women of the same couple (Amato et al., 2003; Johnson et al., 1992; Zvonkovic et al., 1994).

Men and women of the sample have been asked to evaluate their relationship in Waves 1 and 3.

The exact wording in both waves was: “In general, how do you evaluate your relationship (in terms of: your understanding of one another, your intimate life, your way of communication...)?

2.2 Changes in the Dimensions of Conjugal Quality 47

Response categories ranged from “really good” to “generally bad” (Question 13, questionnaire in appendix). Responses of men and women were dichotomized, distinguishing men and women who were really satisfied with their relationship and men and women who gave an answer other than “really good”.

The parallel coordinate plots show the changes in relationship satisfaction of women and men between Wave 1 and Wave 3. More precisely, the graphs in Illustration 1 and 2 show which answer was given in Wave 1 on the left side of each graphic. On the right side, we note whether the same answer was given in Wave 3 or whether another answer was given. A horizontal line indicates that the same answer was given in both waves and a diagonal line indicates changes in the responses over time. About one third of women said that they were really satisfied with their relationship in both waves, but also about one third of women gave another answer in both waves. Decreasing satisfaction over time is observable for about one fifth of women, while increasing satisfaction over time is the case for only 13% of the women in the sample. The results also reveal that men and women evaluate the satisfaction of their relationship quite equally.

48 Chapter 2 Relationship Quality

Note: N=721. Cramers' V = 0.37***, Chi² = 98.15***, df = 1, *** p ≤ 0.001.

Note: N=721, Cramers' V = 0.35***, Chi² = 88.2***, df = 1, *** p ≤ 0.001.

Illustration 1: Development of Relationship Satisfaction, Women

Illustration 2: Development of Relationship Satisfaction, Men

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Thoughts of separation in a relationship were found to be an indicator of relationship quality, but likewise function as a predictor of separation, which can also be seen as an indicator of conjugal quality. To consider separation indicates that there are aspects in the relationship that disturb the functioning for at least one partner. Here it is also useful to examine the changes over time and to show whether there are differences between men and women in the same couple. The exact wording of the questions about separation intentions was: “Many couples, after facing certain difficulties, have considered separation. Have you also had such moments and considered separation?”. The response categories were: “Yes, but without proceeding”,

“Yes, quite seriously”, “Yes, seriously on those occasions”, “Yes, and we already separated before”, “No, never” (Question 14, questionnaire in appendix). Answers have been dichotomised in order to distinguish between men and women who never thought of separation and men and women who did already consider separating regardless of the severity of those thoughts. The evolution of the answers are shown in Illustrations 3 and 4. The results show some differences between men and women. In both waves, fewer women than men said that they never thought of separation. In contrast, in both waves more women than men considered separating. Only few men and women considered separation in Wave 3 as contrasted with Wave 1. Whereas relationship satisfaction is quite similarly evaluated by men and women, thoughts of separation show differences. In conclusion, the hypothesis H2.1, saying that relationship satisfaction will decrease and thoughts of separation will increase, must be considered unsubstantiated. The plots show a high stability of relationship satisfaction and thoughts of separation over time. The hypothesis H2.2, stating that relationship satisfaction will be lower and thoughts of separation higher for women, could only be partially confirmed. Indeed, there are only small differences in the evaluation of the relationship between men and women. By contrast, thoughts of separation are in general more common among women than among men.

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Note: N=721, Cramers' V = 0.46***, Chi² = 150.9, df = 1, *** p ≤ 0.001.

Note: N =721, Cramers' V = 0.34***, Chi² = 84.88***, df = 1, *** p ≤ 0.001.

Disputes or disagreements occur in almost all relationships and are an element in conjugal life, but they are not necessarily a risk for the relationship. Much more important than the frequency Illustration 3: Development of Thoughts of Separation, Women

Illustration 4: Development of Thoughts of Separation, Men

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of arguments with the partner is the severity of those disagreements. Three levels of disputes can be differentiated: couples who stated that they had almost no disputes in their relationship, couples who stated that their disputes are rather small, not serious, and couples who stated that their disputes are rather severe (Question 11, questionnaire in appendix). Illustration 5 shows the severity of arguments of partners over time.

Note: N=721, Cramers'V = 0.28***, Chi² = 111.85***, df = 4, *** p ≤ 0.001.

The results show that disputes are common in relationships. Only about one fifth of couples indicated that they had almost no disputes with their partner in both waves. In contrast, there are only very few couples who indicated severe disputes in both waves. Small disputes, which are not severe have been experienced by about one third of couples in both waves. However, about one fifth indicated that the disputes became more severe (either from almost no disputes to small or severe disputes, or from small disputes to severe disputes). In contrast, there is also a decrease in the severity of disputes over time for about one third of the couples (from severe disputes to small or almost no disputes, or from small disputes to virtually none). The hypothesis H2.3, stating that disputes become less severe over time, is confirmed. Severe arguments were shown to be seldom in Wave 3.

Illustration 5: Development of the Severity of Disputes

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Conflicts occur in every relationship due to the interdependence of partners. In the literature, in particular communication problems, incompatibility with the partner, infidelity, disputes about money and not having enough time for each other have been found to be harmful for the relationship (Amato & Rogers, 1997). In this thesis, three different kinds of conflicts are distinguished: relational conflicts, which occur due to deficits in the interaction with the partner, coordination conflicts, which summarise problems in the coordination of the conjugal life with the partner, and conflicts due to deviant behaviour, which describe mainly drug and alcohol abuse, as well as violence in the relationship. The classification of the single items is oriented to the classification in Wave 1 (Widmer et al., 2003). The respondents were asked whether they had encountered any problems with their partner during the last five years of their relationship (Question 10). In Wave 1, certain items were only asked of one partner in the couple. Hence, only those answers from the partner who answered in Wave one and three are considered in the analysis. Thus, in this case, the results do not show the answers of men and women in the same couple but rather the answer only of one of the partners. It is assumed that in a relationship the partners are aware of the same conflicts. Table 9 shows the distribution (in %) for the single conflict items in Waves 1 and 3. Conflicts due to relational problems occurred more often in Wave 1 than in Wave 3. The most common relational problem in both waves is a serious lack of communication with the partner. However, couples have fewer conflicts due to relational problems over time. Conflicts which spring from coordination problems with the partner also occur more often in Wave 1 than in Wave 3. In both waves, problems with the family of one or the other partner are the most frequently cited. Conflicts due to deviant behaviour occur much less often than other conflicts and these problems play almost no role in Wave 3. The results show that conflicts decreased over time among couples who stay together, but they are still present.

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Table 9: Conjugal Conflicts in Wave 1 and 3 (%)

Wave 1 Wave 3

Women Men Women Men

Relational problems

Serious lack of communication (difficulties in expressing feelings or emotions)

47 42 34 30

Disagreements or problems of a sexual nature 31 30 24 25

Strong emotional disappointment, disenchantment 22 14 13 8

Significant issues in getting used to partners character, personality, rhythms

35 17 21 16

Coordination problems

Problems related to the absence of the partner 25 7 12 3

Serious disagreements in relation to household tasks or

education 26 19 17 15

Significant difficulties in reconciling work and family activities

(work-life balance) 27 28 16 19

Serious difficulties in finding common rhythms or habits 24 16 16 15 Significant disagreements on choice of leisure activities and

arrangement of free time

17 19 9 12

Significant disagreements on values, believes and education of children

23 14 8 7

Disagreements concerning the life direction or their future together

18 11 10 12

Problems with families on one or another side 39 30 24 20

Problems due to deviant behaviour

Acts of physical and/or sexual violence against you 8 1 1 0

Acts of sexual violence against you 8 2

Serious alcohol or drug problem of your partner 10 2 3 1

Problems with partners lack of faithfulness 11 4 3 1

Bad money management 13 7 5 4

Note: indication that conflict occurred, N=721.

The single items of each conflict category have been summed up in order to examine how many of the single conflict items the couple experienced, and the changes over time are illustrated in the following Illustrations.

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Note: N=721, Cramers' V = 0.25***, Chi'2 = 90.12***. df = 4, *** p ≤ 0.001.

About one third of the couples did not experience relational problems in either wave. About 15% stated the presence of at least two problems in the two waves, and only a small number of couples reported only one problem in the two waves. A decrease in the number of relational conflicts is observable for about one third of couples (either from two or more problems to one or no problem, or from one problem to no problem). An increase in the number of conflicts is only the case for about 10% of the couples.

Illustration 6: Development of Relational Conflicts

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Note: N =721, Cramers' V = 0.24***, Chi² = 85.89***, df = 4, *** p ≤ 0.001.

Conflicts due to coordination problems with the partner occur quite often (Illustration 7). Only about one fifth of the couples did not experience these problems in the two waves and about one fifth experienced at least two problems in the two waves. However, couples noted more often a decrease in coordination problems over time rather than an increase. Nevertheless, we can observe differences between relational and coordination problems. Conflicts due to coordination problems with the partner occur much more often, and also persist over time more than problems resulting from the direct interaction with the partner.

Illustration 7: Development of Coordination Conflicts

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Note: N=721, Cramers'V = 0.23***, Chi² = 37.52***, df = 1 *** p ≤ 0.001.

Since the results for the single items of problems due to deviant behaviour have already shown, there are only few couples who experienced them at all in either of the two waves. Only three percent of the couples had to deal with at least one problem of this kind in the two waves.

Furthermore, 14% of the couples who pointed to these problems in Wave 1 resolved them over time. The results confirm hypothesis H2.4, as there is a decrease in the frequency of all kinds of conflicts among the couples in the sample.

In sum, relationship satisfaction and thoughts of separation are quite stable over time. A decrease in relationship satisfaction for men and women can only be confirmed for about one fifth of the sample. Additionally, there are only small differences in the development of relationship satisfaction between men and women. By contrast, thoughts of separation show differences between men and women. In both waves, more women than men thought about separation. However, there is also a high stability over time among the thoughts of separation.

Only few men and women considered separation in Wave 3 but not in Wave 1. Conflicts decreased, as expected, over time; however, they still play a role in conjugal relationships. This Illustration 8: Development of Conflicts due to Deviant Behaviour

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is especially true for coordination problems and to a lesser extent for relational problems.

Problems due to deviant behaviour play only a marginal role among the couples in the sample.